Jamal Jenkins: The Story Of That Black Guy You See EVERYWHERE!!!

Before I start, I know you've all noticed my disappearance from blogging as of late. I had to go away for a while but trust me you will find out here soon enough, probably after the new year.

Now onto our feature presentation.


The Story Of Jamal Jenkins.

No doubt you have seen this face.

Nigga Got Skrilla.

Yes. THAT black guy.

He HAS to be rolling in it right? he's been in EVERY single commercial this holiday season and in the months leading up to it. His name is...Lamorne Morris.

So where does the whole "Jamal Jenkins" thing come from you ask? Think about it loyal readers...if his commercials were linked somehow...it has to be an AMAZING story filled with food, loose women, beer and of course, the stolen New Years Eve Ball.

This is Jamal's story.

Jamal was hanging out with his homies one day, realizing that hes tired of playing drums all day and begging for money. I mean, of course he's seen as a non-threatening black man since he's surrounded by clean cut white boys, but he knows that not enough to make it in this world. what he needs is A WOMAN. Jamal knows that that is the first step to happiness. Unfortunately, Jamal has never been able to hold down a relationship. Maybe this girl will be the one...

Jamal thinks he could do better, especially since it's obvious that she is a thief, and damn good at it too, since she was able to lift that VERY EXPENSIVE can of soda away from three guys when the cooler was RIGHT NEXT to one of their ears. Jamal also realizes he may want to try a black girl, since his momma wouldnt approve. Mama always says "If they can't use your comb, don't bring them home!"

One day Jamal was going to the Gym. He realizes that he has the ability to talk to women, its just that he doesnt understand why he cant KEEP them. Sometimes Jamal is a little too cocky however, and since he saw one of his white friends try this, he thought he would give it a try.

It Worked! Damn she is stupid! She even Paid!! She's a Keeper too! Jamal of course walks this young lady to her door, and she INVITES HIM IN!! SCOOOREEEEE!! Free Dinner, AND SOME VAGINAL INTERCOURSE?! Jamal has hit the jackpot!!

Wait...Oh no...She has 17 cats! Jamal is allergic!! The house smells like ammonia and cat shit!! He's gonna try though....he hasnt been laid in months! The Naive young woman begins to kiss all over Jamal and sticks her tongue down his throat. Unfortunately for Jamal, it seems this young woman gives her cats baths with her tongue, because it feels "All Natural" to them. Jamal also tastes a hint of Tuna so he promptly vomits and leaves.

So upset, Jamal hooks back up with his white drummer friends, Chad and Brody. Jamal tells them about how upset he is that he cant find the right woman in his life. Brody offers to set Jamal up on a blind date (with another black girl). Jamal and Terri have an excellent first and second date! they seem to be doing very well. Terri tells Jamal at the end of the third date that she loves him. Jamal explains to her that everytime he tells a woman that, bad things happen. she takes it well, until she goes home and starts talking to herself, saying over and over again that "Jamal loves her" in the mirror. That weekend, Jamal takes her on a picnic where he isnt exactly sure what to say about her...but knows he loves his beer...

After about 40 minutes of explaining himself, he realizes that she begins to get a nervous twitch and he decides to leave...and change his number...

...and address....

...and get a new job...


...AT A BUSINESS COMPANY!! Where it's lunchtime, and he realizes that he isnt good with women at all, even when he isnt dating them...

Having given up on women completely, Jamal decides he needs to go out on his own where he bumps into Kinesha. A very level headed, African American woman who is very independent. They hit it off very well for the coming months, through the summer and the fall. One day they were at a coffee shop where Jamal left his cell phone at the table and the unthinkable happened...

THAT CRAZY BITCH TERRI GOT HIS CELL NUMBER!! He got a second to think, but Jamal figured "THIS BLACK BITCH WONT BELIEVE ME! SHE BLACK!" and of course lied to her, which she found out about later, which led to her setting all of his clothes on fire, throwing his flat screen out of the window and turning all of the utilities on in the apartment and leaving them on without tell him. Then she went to his job, punched out the sandwich lady because she thought her name happened to be Terri too AND cussed out his boss TERRY, just incase Jamal was gay.

This of course led to Jamal being fired. down on his luck because he is jobless and most of his utilities shut off right through christmas, Jamal gets desperate. He tells his friends about his misfortune and they behind his back cook up a plan...STEAL THE NEW YEARS BALL AND SELL IT PIECE BY PIECE ON eBAY!!! (they were snorting coke)

The Theif in the red dress, whose name happens to be Sonya, Brody, Chad, and three of their mutual friends, Jack, Stacy and Karen, all meet to plan this awe inspiring heist. In the wee hours of the morning on December 31st,  Brody, Chad and Karen reached the rooftop in Times Square where the Ball is located. Since Money is scarce, the only tools they had were from a Black & Decker toolbox Brody got for christmas.

Jack, Stacy and Sonya scoped out the area, looking for a means to escape. Jack, who has a pilot's license, found a helipad across the city which he could use to hook the ball up to and take it away. Brody unlatched most of the mechanisms in the ball so that it would move without alerting anyone once the final countdown started.

The six master thieves who loved their friend so much, set out on their quest at 11pm that night. Brody made his way back up to the rooftop to be the hook man. as millions and millions of people awaited the ball to drop, those close to the action started to notice the ball glowing weird.

Ke$ha was performing directly beneath the ball, grossing people out near the stage with her pu$$y funk.

The helicopter moved in at 11:58 towards the ball, and since no law enforcement agency wanted to blow that helicopter out of the sky, and have their name attached to a burning fireball falling on top of a bunch of people, it made it through unscathed. Brody attached the hook and jumped for the helicopter but missed, and Sonya grabbed his hand. Brody, proved too heavy however, mainly because he drank 7up way way too much. They both fell to their deaths.

Jack pulls up and takes the ball away. the wind from that cold december night causes some turbulence however, as Chad stumbles out of the helicopter and lands on Ke$ha, killing them both. The helicopter flies off into the night.

Jamal, the next day, after spending New Years Eve alone, hears about what happened the night before on the news on his phone. He comes home and finds Jack, Stacy and Karen.

They sell the pieces of eBay and then get arrested where Jamal will no longer have any issues with women. Now the men however...

-Sparks

[Random] A Very BET Christmas. The Sparkman Way.

I like doing these random thoughts blogs because i can say whatever i want and ill be right.

Quick story, Yesterday I sat at a desk from 8:30am until 8:30am THIS morning, and didnt go to sleep until 1pm because of appointments. This morning I was a little more honery than usual, including posting this as my status after listening to urban radio:

"If your black ass afro-centric name is so fucking ridiculously ghetto that the black ass nigga on the blackest radio station in the state can't pronounce that shit on your birthday shoutout, I think its time to go to court and change that shit SHA-FRANIQUA."

Now, saying things like that isnt new for me at all. So I figured with a little sleep I could Talk about something racist with a little intelligence and hopefully a lot of humor.

I didnt watch this particular program but I heard about it so I imagine that it went something like this...

SPARKMAN'S VISION OF "A VERY BET KWANZAA CHRISTMAS"
This is how I'm almost certain it went down.

Our hosts are Justin Timberlake & Robin Thicke.

Justin begins talking about how African Americans in the 'hood struggle when Christmas time comes around, usually because food stamps aren't accepted at Kmart when you put the one SNES that was left in the back corner on the store for the last 16 years on layaway.

Robin continues talking about how BET wants to celebrate to celebrate the hard working black folk in these cases.

A video package is shown of stock footage containing mostly shots of the ghetto in any American city, fat black women eating chicken box after chicken box as their illegitimate bastard child breast feeds on the greasiest breast milk. next shot show footage of african children with flies crawling on their faces. Apparently, BET pretty much figures that most people dont care enough to tell the difference anyway.

More shots of government cheese, and a 5 year old child that cant read, attempting to read mommy's cell phone bill that is somehow in the child's name. All of this set to the tune of 2Pac's "I Get Around".

We go back to our caucasian hosts, that are apparently blacker than me because the black community accepts them, as they introduce our musical guess Snoop Dogg, as he sings his hit holiday song "I smoked an elf with Santa". Unfortunately, Snoop had to be escorted out of the building because he smoked the one Mistletoe in the building and kept trying to get our hosts to say the word "Nigger" and when they wouldnt, he angrily asked them if they had love for Snoop Dogg...kinda like this. --->Start at :40

Next up, Kayne West comes out as the stage goes dark. suddenly the ground shakes and several male dancers from all the black dance academies around the country, form out of the ground. Kanye begins rapping something inaudible about Christmas and finishes his set. Justin and Robin come back and send us to commercial.

The insanely deep voiced and obviously black announcer informs us that our Black Ass Christmas is brought to you by Popeyes, Church's, KFC, Mrs Winner's Chicken & Biscuits, Chick Fil-A, and Sprite.

We come back from commercial where the cameras are cut on way too early, and catch Justin & Robin admit that they are exploiting black music for their own personal gain, followed by them admitting that they are exploiting black women by promising them fame and fortune if they give up their unemployment checks...no wonder they are so rich.

We get another video package for the United Negro College Fund, but Robin, not knowing what UNCF meant, accidently introduced it as the United Nigga Chicken Fight. When corrected, Robin explains that thats what the fighting ring down in Louisiana that he was investing in was called, and he figured that advertising it would make him more money. He also added that it wasnt actually chickens fighting, but poor black people fighting over "The Big Piece of Chicken".

Once Robin is pulled from the show, the video package is finally shown. Young black college students are shown going to class, participating in extracurricular activities and studying in the library. A fine educated young man is shown speaking to the audience about the good that the UNCF does for young african americans. BET realizes that it is showing something that is beneficial to blacks and pulls the ad immediately and replaces it with Nelly's full uncensored Tip Drill Music Video.

Justin Timberlake thanks us for joining him for the blackest christmas possible in which Kayne  interrupts him, telling him that yes, this may have been an awesome program, but "A Charlie Brown Christmas" Is the best Christmas special of all time.

At least thats what would have happened if i was in charge...

-Sparks

[Sports] Well? have we learned anything?

So as you know i had my picks for week 14 last week and i think i did a pretty good job

Sparkman's Week 14 Record
11-3

All Time Record
11-3

See? im smart. listen to me from now on. forever.


So how many of you watched that debacle that some folks would like to call a game? i'm gonna keep it short and sweet because i know most of us dont have the attention span to read long ass stories anymore.


Without trying to sound like a whiny baby, because I am a fan, A huge fan, I realized something when I was watching the first half of the game and that epiphany was that...THE FIRE IS HERE. FLACCO IS YELLING AT PEOPLE TO DO SHIT. HES FUCKING PISSED. YEAH!!!!! HARBAUGH FINALLY GOT THE FIRE AND NOW WE CAN BE BETTER THAN EVER...

...and then halftime happened. I heard Mike Tirico say "I wonder what Gary Kubiak (Texans head coach) said to these guys in the locker room. Well Mr. Tirico ill tell you what he said. HE DIDNT SAY SHIT. THEY PLAYED THE EXACT SAME WAY THEY WERE PLAYING BEFORE THE HALF.

So now you are all asking why...why did we have such problems in the second half? I'll give you two names. Cam Cameron and Greg Mattinson. Respectively,  The Ravens Offensive Coordinator and The Ravens Defensive Coordinator. They are the ones who typically calls the plays for the Ravens. For example, do you remember that play during the Steelers game where Flacco fumbled on 3rd &2 which effectively caused us to lose the game because what should have been a run play was a pass play? and that play last night on 3rd & 2 when Joe Flacco's pass was deflected and it gave the texans back the ball when we should have just RUN THE FUCKING BALL WHICH WOULD HAVE RUN OUT THE CLOCK??? You guess it, Cam called both of those plays, and learned absolutely nothing from the previous week.


Our defense however, did save our asses, but thanks to Cam Cameron, our defense spent 12 of the 15 minutes of the 4th quarter on the FUCKING FIELD. They looked like GODDAMN RETARDS out there. Rii. TAHRDZ. doesnt help that Mr. FUCKING MATTINSON DECIDED HE WANTED TO STAY IN THE COVER TWO ALL GODDAMN NIGHT.

I would like to add a third name to the bunch. Michael Fucking Oher. How the FUCK are you gonna have a movie made about you protecting the blindside when Flacco has been sacked on that side over and over and over and over and OVER AGAIN. GET OFF MY FUCKING FIELD.

This is my plea. Mr. Harbaugh, we have an awesome team. if it wasnt for Cam Cameron's conservative play calling, we would not have lost any fucking games this season, plain and simple. we should be blowing these assholes out of the fucking water and instead of being the leader of the AFC North and #2 in the AFC like we were two weeks ago, we are now number 5 and in position to lose that spot because we play the red hot New Orleans Saints next week and not only that, our season is now in the hands of Pittsburgh and New York.

Next season, Go Coordinator shopping. Please.

Oh wait...there's gonna be a lockout...

...you got time.

[Entertainment] Miley, Michael and Marty McFly?

Loads of entertainment news today, most of you have probably heard about and dont care, or care but usually wait until you hear about it from someone who is most likely wrong.

First off today my fellow Americans, back to the Miley Cyrus bong incident. If you havent heard, Miley Cyrus...well...im gonna be lazy. click on my first random thoughts blog post in the side bar. Anyway, Bill O'Reilly, who i do not engage in any form of niggerdom with, actually said something I agree with, which is that Miley is "Pathetic" and should not be considered a role model. For those who dont know, I have a beautiful 3 year old lil girl and if she looked up to Hannah Montana (which im glad she doesnt) and Hanna went from blonde wig to performing fellatio on a microphone while crawling on a stage after sliding up and down a strippers pole, and then smoking from a fucking bong (i dont give a fuck if its salvia or weed. dont give a fuck at all. if you wanna argue some shit to me about how weed is from the earth and salvia is not illegal, fuck you. have a child that you actually give a fuck about then come back to me, preferably before 4:20 in the afternoon) and MEANWHILE, Hannah Montana episodes are STILL coming on the disney channel and saturday morning on ABC, i'd be a very upset father.

Miley/Hannah can go to fucking hell.

The Pirates of The Carribean: On Stranger Tides Trailer has hit the airwaves and I am very excited about this Mother Fuckin movie. oh whats that? I just complained about Miley yet i curse and talk about things that children shouldnt hear about? hey fuck you. im NOT on the Disney channel. My Blog isnt geared towards little girls and i wont hesitate to post another pic of Ke$ha getting ate the fuck out. try me. anywhere heres the fucking trailer.

Fuck you.

Ok ok ok. I'm sorry.


NO IM NOT FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!


...


Michael Jackson's new album, "Michael" came out with ten tracks of songs that may or may not be him. Who cares? I still have Thriller, Bad, Off The Wall and Dangerous. plus that "Hold My Hand" Song sounds really good cause Akon sounds awesome in it. Will.I.Am. or...WILLIAM. YES WILLIAM, took his songs he did with Mike off the album because he just wanted to seem like he actually cares when you know about 5 years down the road he's just gonna sell the songs himself for more money. he didnt think the quality of the songs was good enough for Michael's taste. Hold My Hand Bitch.

Back To The Future is releasing a new game, released in 5 chapters for the ipod touch, iPad, PS3 and PC. according to the trailer it takes place after the third movie in 1986 when an empty Delorean appears and Marty has to find Doc before his home is sold or some shit like that. Now I want to play the game because just like most people born in or around the early to mid 80's, we love Back To the Future, and the NES GAMES SUCKED BIG BLACK BALLS. NO NO...NOT AFRICAN AMERICAN BALLS, IM TALKIN ZIMBABWEAN MANDINGO BALLS. THE KINDS THAT DROOP LOW LIKE OLD PEOPLE BALLS AND THEY GOT THOSE LOOSE STRANDS OF HAIR JUST DANGLING, AND YOU KNOW EACH HAIR HAS A FLY DRINKING THE SWEAT OFF THE TIP. OFF. THE. TIP... *ahem* but I'm confused because didn't Doc go back to the old west to live? and yeah i know the cartoon had everyone living together but nonetheless, im sure it will make more sense when the game comes out sometime this month. TRAILER!!!!!

thats all i feel like typing right now. if you havent yet, subscribe. if you havent yet, click on an ad, and the close it out, and then do it again. if you havent yet, post the link in your feed on facebook. and if you havent yet, cook me dinner, AND SHE KNOWS WHO IM TALKING TOO;) and take your socks off.

and just cause, heres something really racist.

-Sparks

[Random] Random Thoughts

-I really like those Christmas remix songs from those commercials...

-Why are those Gap mannequins like...I dont know...sexier than real mannequins...Do they cost more? Am I weird for think that anything plastic is sexy?

So Sexy.

-Yogi Bear has always been a kind of a dumb cartoon to me, but this movie makes me want to cut my dick off.

-Playing Xbox Live games on your phone is kind of cool, but I still like my EVO 4G. seriously how can people think that the iPhone is better? Do YOU think its better? watch this

-Is it better to tell your kids about Santa? or let some jerk kid in their school tell them later that he doesnt exist?

-I really hate The Patriots and the Steelers.

-Do you like Ke$ha? Then check this out.

Yup. thats EXACTLY what you think it is.

-So while my insufferable ex-wife has ruined my second christmas in a row, just thought i'd tell you all the things i would like to happen to her...

...or not, because the custody battle isnt over yet.

-When I finally exit the Army, I'm gonna tell you what i REALLY think about it.

-"Bob's Burgers" does not look funny at all. It also really annoys me that none of the characters have chins. like, they arent even drawn for effect. you know, as if the artists just had a flat surface and they just drew something that looked like a butt. Nope. They all look like fucking E.T. cancel the show immediately.

-I made this picture as big as i could so that you can see that tooth. Seriously what the fuck? Must've hit it on the bong.

-what is up with all the monsters in cell phone commercials these days? I dont really have anything to say about it, except i just find it kind weird as shit.

-That girl in the subway commerials with the kid voice? you know, the one with the big ass teeth who doesnt open her mouth when she's talking? can we kill her? and Ke$ha?

-Sparks

[Sports] Week 14 NFL Picks

Sure i'm not what most would would call an "NFL Analyst", mainly because I dont get paid for it, but considering I've been paying very CLOSE attention to football for a number of years now, and most of you read this to get my opinion on a number of topics, I'm gonna give you this weeks picks and from now on, picks for the remainder of the season.

Thursday, Dec 9th
Indianapolis (7-6) vs. Tennessee (5-8) - NFL Network
Sparkman's pick - Indianapolis
Final Score - 30 - 28
Why?- lol because the game already happened? You aren't laughing are you? FUCK you.


Sunday, Dec 12th
Cleveland (5-7) vs. Buffalo (2-10) - CBS (Blacked out)
Sparkman's pick - Buffalo
Final Score 17-14 F/OT
Why?- Buffalo has taken two of the top teams in the AFC, the Ravens and the Steelers, Both in the AFC North, to the limit and into Overtime in two heartstoppers earlier this season. Considering the Browns are also in the same division, yet inferior to those two teams, look for Buffalo to get the win over the 'other' inferior team in the AFC North. Buffalo has a good team as they have been able to put up insane amounts of points over teams this season thanks to the underrated Ryan Fitzpatrick and in response to that Cleveland has...Jake Delhomme. But crazier things have happened...Cleveland did beat the Patriots this year.


Green Bay (8-4) vs. Detriot (2-10) - FOX
Sparkman's pick - Green Bay
Final Score - 35 - 10 
Why? - This week seems like its filled with games that are no brainers which of course, makes my job a lot easier :-D. Aaron Rodgers is another one of those QB's that just seem to take control of games and never let go. The Packers had trouble putting them away earlier in the season, but i do not think that will be the case this time. The Pack should cruise to their 11th straight win over the Lions which is a franchise best. They are currently #2 in the NFC North behind DA BEARS.


Cincinnati (2-10) vs Pittsburgh (9-3) - CBS
Sparkman's pick - Pittsburgh
Final Score - 24 - 21
Why? - Cincy obviously has the weapons but just cannot finish, plus there are the few times that they are just downright fucking awful. Pittsburgh is coming off that very emotional win over their arch-rival Baltimore. The Steelers know they need to keep control over the AFC North because the Ravens have a pretty easy week as well. Big Ben throws three TD's and rapes a couple of bitches during halftime. (Bet you wont find that line on FOXSports.com)


Tampa Bay (7-5) vs. Washington (5-7) - FOX
Sparkman's Pick - Tampa Bay
Final Score - 35-20
Why? - Tampa Bay's abysmal effort last season is giving their sub-par team an awesome record this year and putting them in the playoff hunt for the first time in recent memory. They are 7-0 against .500 teams and Washington is just that. Also, Washington just lost Albert Haynesworth for the season, which may not be a bad thing since hes been purposefully dead weight all year.


Atlanta (10-2) vs Carolina (1-11) - FOX
Sparkman's pick - Atlanta
Final Score - 38 - 3
Why? - Atlanta has been O.F.F. Seriously. ON FUCKING FIRE. Look for them to destroy the hapless Carolina Panthers as they cruise into the playoffs.


Oakland (6-6) vs. Jacksonville (7-5) - CBS
Sparkman's pick - Jacksonville
Final Score - 27-24
Why? - Am I playing it safe? nah...Jacksonville is sitting atop of the AFC South and know that they have to win out because Indianapolis is chipping at their heels and jack del Rio needs to make the playoffs this year or he will be in the hot seat next year. I am not completely counting out the Raiders however, as they have exceeded many people's expectations this year. Do I expect them to go to the superbowl? hell no. Do I expect them to beat the Jags? No. Would I be surprised however? Nope.


St. Louis (6-6) vs. New Orleans (9-3) - FOX
Sparkman's pick - New Orleans
Final Score - 48 - 28
Why? - This is another one where i would not be surprised if my pick lost and the reason for that is New Orleans has had quite a few nailbiters this season against teams that shouldnt have taken them that far. The one thing I have realized about the defending champs is that they will either blow you the fuck out or it will come down to the wire, and when that happens it usually ends with Drew Brees hands in the air.


Seattle (6-6) vs. San Francisco (4-8) - FOX
Sparkman's Pick - San Francisco
Final Score - 10-7
Why? - Oh dear. the NFC West. look at you. San Fran is going to pull it off because I think they are the first team in NFL history to be 4-8 and still have a chance at the divisional title. Plus Mike Singletary knows what's up if his team drops to 4-9


New England (10-2) vs. Chicago (9-3) - CBS
Sparkman's Pick - Chicago
Final Score - 38-35 F/OT
Why? - DA BEARS want to make a statement. They have been flying under the radar all season and even being at the top of their division and #2 in the NFC, they still arent getting the respect they feel they deserve. Enter the New England Patriots. They made Rex Ryan's Jets look like straight DOGSHIT on Monday Night Football, taking control of the AFC East and looking like a serious Super Bowl contender. This will be a barnburner, but look for Chicago's O-line to step up and keep Jay Cutler off the ground.


Miami (6-6) vs. New York Jets (9-3) - CBS
Sparkman's Pick - New York
Final Score - 28-17
Why? - Rex Ryan buried the game ball from Monday night and told his players to put that last game behind them. After being embarrased last monday night, look for the Jets to take their anger out on another AFC East opponent to keep up with the Patriots in the Division, and hope for the Pats to lose to tighten up the divisional race.


Denver (3-9) vs. Arizona (3-9) - CBS
Sparkman's Pick - Denver
Final Score - 9-3
Why? - Why Not? These two teams are competing for a better draft position. NEXT.


Kansas City (8-4) vs. San Diego (6-6) - CBS
Sparkman's Pick - San Diego
Final Score - 17-14
Why? - San Diego has been struggling to find an identity all season. One week they will lay on their backs and get fucked in the urethra, the next week they will put +30 on the board. The AFC West is not doing much better than the NFC West, but I believe San Diego will try and get back in the playoff hunt. They are currently 2 games back in the Wild Card race and #3 in the AFC West.


Philadelphia (8-4) vs. Dallas (4-8) - Sunday Night, NBC
Sparkman's Pick - Philadelphia
Final Score - 35 - 20
Why? - Michael Vick goes under the Sunday night lights and puts on a hell of a performance against the Cowboys tomorrow in prime time. The Eagles are prepping for their upcoming playoff run and want to prove to the world that they are not a one trick pony, relying on their offense only to get the job done. Jon Kitna has been playing decent and the Cowboys have been looking better since Wade Phillips was let go, but it wont show tonight.


Monday Night, Dec. 13th
Baltimore (8-4) vs. Houston (5-7) -  ESPN
Sparkman's Pick - Baltimore (but you knew that already)
Final Score - 24-17
Why? - The Ravens, coming off of what most of their players have been calling the most emotional and heartbreaking loss they've ever had vs the Steelers last week, with address all of their fans fears on Monday Night and get a comfortable lead from the getgo and not let it go. Aside from being #2 in the AFC North, they are now teetering on losing their #2 Wild card spot. they know if they lose here, their postseason hopes start to look a lot more bleak, especially because they will be facing the Super Bowl Champs next week.


So those are my picks. I hope you heard what you wanted to hear and if you didnt, LEAVE A COMMENT. TELL ME HOW IM WRONG. I LOVE FEEDBACK AND I WILL RESPOND. TRUST ME. Also, do me a favor everyone. tell your friends and fam. as you can tell i worked very hard on this so enjoy reading, click on the ads (i dont care if you buy anything, just click. trust me. it helps.) and subscribe. thanks a lot and ill have a new blog up tomorrow about who the fuck knows what.


-Sparks

[Sports] Why I hate The New England Patriots

Massachusetts. Maine. Connecticut. Vermont. New Hampshire. Rhode Island.

For those who dont know, those states I just named are a part of New England. A region rich in history and home to some of the most ANNOYING PEOPLE ON EARTH. From their COCKY ATTITUDES and their FUCKED UP ASS NASALLY PRODUCED VOICES, These people are pretty close to being the scum of the Earth.

Now im sure I'm going to ruffle some feathers here as I saw in the comments under my post about creating the Patriots Hater page but what you all have to understand is this: "I don't care."

Why dont I care? because people liked and followed my Steelers haters page why? because they hate the steelers. you all have no clue who I am besides a couple of pictures i've thrown up and that I am a diehard Ravens fan. I didnt hold a gun to your head so don't hold me to any standard whatsoever.

With that being said, I have my reasons as to why I do hate the Patriots, but these two are the most prevalent reasons.

-They are my ex-wife's favorite team
-Tom Brady is a fucking bitch.

Yes he's a great QB I wont deny that and yes, my ex-wife is a horrendous person. but what prompted my comments on the PEOPLE of New England? That my friends will have to wait until the divorce but I will tell you this much. I know that not all people are the same, but because of the way ive been treated up there and the way they act, all of you New Englanders are guilty until proven innocent.

Either way, enjoy the page. Spread the hate and CHEER everytime Tom Brady gets hit and BOO everytime Tom Brady gets hit and they throw a flag (which is every single fucking time and you know it). OR, defend your team. I dont give a fuck. just enjoy yourself.

-Sparks